Here are 5 Sneaky Lies Your Eating Disruption Doesn’t Want to be Exposed. I'm also including a FREE worksheet below on "Reframing ED Thoughts with Self-Compassion" so you can start breaking the disorder's hold using recovery tools rooted in compassion.

While working as a mental health therapist, I’ve come to an understanding eating disorders quietly construct themselves as trusted confidants, promising protection and support if you just follow their advice. Yet their prescribed isolation and rigid rules erode self-worth. Their whispered lies disrupt relationships and mental health while posing as healthy encouragement. They have a way of taking on the appearance of a caring friend who wants what’s best. But the illness is the voice of deception – not you.

Every patient's journey has differences of course. But across many stories, similar deceptive lies emerge that crush confidence, breed shame, encourage secrecy - all to entrap you instead of seeking the support needed to recover. Lies like "You're too far gone," "You don't even have a real problem," or "I just want you to be healthy." Lies that feel convincingly real at times. But when we shine light on the manipulation and stop believing these “caring” lies - real healing can begin.

Lie #1: “I’m the Exception to Recovery”

The eating disorder will try to convince you that while recovery is possible for others, you are somehow unworthy or incapable. This distorted thought is fueled by social comparison. Comparison persistently infiltrates eating disorder recovery, from clinical treatment programs to public spaces like college campuses all the way to the filtered world of social media. Comparison is the thief of joy and can be an especially slippery slope in terms of recovery.

A while back when I was running a recovery-focused group at a residential treatment center, a client shared something that really stuck with me. They matter-of-factly stated: “I am not the exception. I can and will recover.” They encapsulated the gritty hope of recovery so simply yet beautifully. It moved me. Like comparison is constantly lurking in recovery spaces, this client spoke such clear truth-telling to its power. They understood firsthand that no two journeys will look identical – recovery is almost always messy, frustrating, freeing, and empowering...not some smooth ride. But oh so possible. Their courage assured all of us - the winding path held an exit, if we trusted ourselves to take the first step.

Lie #2: “There are other people who are sicker than me” / “I’m not sick enough”

Growing up in the early 2000s, I vividly remember the incessant tabloid speculation about young celebrity "it girls" and their bodies. The magazine racks constantly blasted dehumanizing headlines and invasive photos critiquing every starlet's weight, clothing size, and mental state. As an impressionable teen, this toxic coverage taught me that only severely underweight people could earn the label of being "sick enough" for their eating disorders to be considered valid.

It took me years to unlearn that harmful concept of validating suffering by some arbitrary level of observable unwellness. In reality, determining severity has nothing to do with weight or appearance. From anxiety to depression, we measure impact - does this negatively affect someone's social, emotional, or physical functioning? Any disruption of health, no matter whether or not it "looks" textbook, deserves compassionate care, not dismissal.

But eating disorders latch onto that toxic idea of being "sick enough" to undermine healing. By whispering you aren't sick enough to deserve help, EDs try to drag you deeper into darkness and dysfunction. If a friend came to you doubting whether their pain was "bad enough," you would embrace them with unconditional understanding - and you must treat yourself the same. Your own experience is real and valid, even if labs and outward looks deem you "fine," denying yourself support only causes harm. Reclaim your right to seek help, knowing you am worthy of recovery, no matter what ED thoughts try to argue.

Lie #3: “It’s Just another dieting Trend; It’s not a big deal”

Let's cut through the noise - extreme fad diets simply don't work long-term and risk serious harm. I'm not talking about evidence-based medical nutrition plans to support specific health conditions, I mean the fleeting obsession over starvation schemes like intermittent fasting, juice cleanses, no-carb, etc. These restrictive regimes may promise the world, but science shows they usually fail us by derailing metabolism, decimating energy, and breeding shame when our bodies don’t “look” the way the diet promised they would.

Our bodies have a natural set-point weight range wired by genetics. No matter how diligently you attack your body trying to override its homeostasis, that biological wisdom almost always wins out. Rather than this endless fight for a number on the scale, strive for self-care that helps you feel grounded and hopeful in your skin.

Seek advice only from qualified professionals like registered dietitians, nutritionists, therapists, and medical doctors. They can help develop a balanced nutrition plan aligned with your health context and lifestyle rather than quick fixes, detoxes, and restrictions meant to turn a profit. Work collaboratively towards sustainable goals without pressure or guilt. Remember - you don't fail diets; diets fail you. Feed yourself with patience as you would a close friend. Your body deserves at least that much from you.

Lie #4: “I’m just eating clean and avoiding bad foods"

Food holds no moral value - it simply nourishes us. Yet diet culture loves categorizing certain eats as righteous superfoods while vilifying others as sinful. This black & white thinking only breeds obsession, guilt, and shame. Severely restricting or overloading on any one nutrient group tends to backfire. Let’s walk through the science:

Calories are units of energy. When we slash calories excessively, we slash the fuel to engage in daily life and passions. Low energy tanks your happiness.
Carbohydrates provide glucose to power concentration, exercise, movement. They quite literally help promote brighter, more active moods.
Fats insulate our delicate organs, assist essential cell growth—skin cells, nerve cells, all the cells! Fats also promote lustrous hair, nails and skin.

The ultimate diet isn’t about vilifying cookies over kale. It’s discovering the rhythms of nourishing foods that harmonize into health for your unique lifestyle under supportive guidance. Surround yourself with professionals to find this balance. Ditch the “good food, bad food” drama. Food is food—you get to determine how it serves you best.

Lie #5: “It’s better to be numb than deal with emotions"

Emotions are crucial signals communicating our core needs and when they aren't being met. At some point in your eating disorder, you may have started instinctively gaslighting some of these emotions as irrational - like panic over potential sugars in fruit. But the intensity of those feelings is real, no matter how "reasonable" logic tries to override them.

Suppressing intense emotions is a key tactic eating disorders leverage to numb and dissociate. It drives disorder to offer relief from what feels like tidal waves of feelings through restriction, rules, rituals. But squashing our emotions never works long-term, and ultimately this culmination explodes. Studies actually show emotions themselves last under 2 minutes when allowed to flow freely.

The path forward is opening the door back up. When intense emotions come knocking, avoid judging or wrestling them down. Rather, invite them in with radical curiosity and presence. Allow them to pass through you like waves washing over, not crashing down - because the only way out is through. Finding the courage not to run or gaslight means finally giving these messages space to resolve, feel, and heal.

When eating disorder lies creep in, this simple worksheet can help expose distortions and reframe negative thoughts with unconditional self-acceptance and compassion.

About the Author

I'm Brianna, the founder of On Par Therapy NYC. I transformed my passion for empowering people into a counseling practice focused on helping busy New York women reduce anxiety, improve confidence, and find balance and purpose.

I blend evidence-based techniques with intuitive insights from my own growth to nurture resilience, self-awareness, and inner peace. Wellness is not just about eliminating symptoms; it’s about wholeheartedly fostering self-care and fulfillment. Whether at the starting line or yearning for a pivotal shift in your recovery, you’re in the right place. I supply the resources, strength-based support, and know-how for quieting your inner critic, speaking kindly to yourself, and feeling at home in your skin.

Let's lean into self-discovery, embrace the process, and journey together toward mental health that empowers you to show up fully as your best self. Your dreams of balance and belonging? Let's make them a reality. Reach out INFO@ONPARTHERAPYNYC.COM to schedule a complimentary 15-minute intro call.